Translation study Worksheet
Translation study Worksheet
This blog is part of Translation studies, in this i am going to cover some poems and their translation into Hindi & Gujrati language with the help of Open AI. This task assigned by Dilip Barad sir. For more details about task. (click here)
Now, applying same methods which in mentioned in Teacher's blog , let us examine Faiz Ahmed, Faiz's Urdu poem "Mujh Se Pehli Si Mohabbat Mirii Mehboob Na Maang" into Hindi and English. Faiz Ahmed Faiz’s poem Mujh Se Pehli Si Mohabbat is a masterpiece of Urdu literature.
Original Poem:
میں نے سمجھا مجھ سے پہلی سی محبت مری محبوب نہ مانگ تھا کہ تو ہے تو درخشاں ہے حیات
تیرا غم ہے تو غم دہر کا جھگڑا کیا ہے
تیری صورت سے ہے عالم میں بہاروں کو ثبات
تیری آنکھوں کے سوا دنیا میں رکھا کیا ہے
تو جو مل جائے تو تقدیر نگوں ہو جائے
یوں نہ تھا میں نے فقط چاہا تھا یوں ہو جائے
اور بھی دکھ ہیں زمانے میں محبت کے سوا
راحتیں اور بھی ہیں وصل کی راحت کے سوا
ان گنت صدیوں کے تاریک بہیمانہ طلسم
ریشم و اطلس و کمخاب میں بنوائے ہوئے
جا بہ جا بکتے ہوئے کوچہ و بازار میں جسم
خاک میں لتھڑے ہوئے خون میں نہلائے ہوئے
جسم نکلے ہوئے امراض کے تنوروں سے
پیپ بہتی ہوئی گلتے ہوئے ناسوروں سے
لوٹ جاتی ہے ادھر کو بھی نظر کیا کیجے
اب بھی دل کش ہے ترا حسن مگر کیا کیجے
اور بھی دکھ ہیں زمانے میں محبت کے سوا
راحتیں اور بھی ہیں وصل کی راحت کے سوا
مجھ سے پہلی سی محبت مری محبوب نہ مانگ
ویڈیو
Hindi Translation:
मुझसे पहली सी मोहब्बत मेरी महबूब न मांग
था कि तू है तो दरख़्शां है हयात
तेरा ग़म है तो ग़म-ए-दहर का झगड़ा क्या है
तेरी सूरत से है आलम में बहारों को सबात
तेरी आँखों के सिवा दुनिया में रखा क्या है
तू जो मिल जाए तो तक़दीर निगूं हो जाए
यूँ न था, मैंने फ़क़त चाहा था, यूँ हो जाए
और भी दुख हैं ज़माने में मोहब्बत के सिवा
राहतें और भी हैं, वस्ल की राहत के सिवा
अनगिनत सदियों के तारीक बहिमाना तिलिस्म
रेशम-ओ-अटलस-ओ-कमख़ाब में बुनवाए हुए
जाबजाब बिकते हुए कूचा-ओ-बाज़ार में जिस्म
ख़ाक में लथड़े हुए, ख़ून में नहलाए हुए
जिस्म निकले हुए अमराज़ के तंदूरों से
पीप बहती हुई, गलते हुए नासूरों से
लौट जाती है उधर को भी नज़र, क्या कीजे
अब भी दिलकश है तेरा हुस्न, मगर क्या कीजे
और भी दुख हैं ज़माने में मोहब्बत के सिवा
राहतें और भी हैं, वस्ल की राहत के सिवा
मुझसे पहली सी मोहब्बत मेरी महबूब न मांग
English Translation:
Do not ask of me, my love, the love I once gave you.
For life was radiant when I thought only of you.
Your sorrow was my own, and the world’s quarrels seemed trivial.
Your beauty gave permanence to the seasons’ bloom,
And beyond your gaze, nothing else held meaning.
If I could have you, destiny would bow its head,
But it was not to be; I merely wished it so.
There are other sorrows in the world besides love,
Other comforts too, beyond the union of lovers.
The dark, brutal spells of uncountable centuries,
Woven into silk, satin, and brocade.
Bodies for sale in every alley and marketplace,
Smeared with dust, bathed in blood.
Bodies emerging from the ovens of affliction,
Pus dripping, wounds rotting.
My eyes turn even now to these sights—what can I do?
Your beauty still enchants, but what can I do?
There are other sorrows in the world besides love,
Other comforts too, beyond the union of lovers.
Do not ask of me, my love, the love I once gave you.
Analysis :
The translations of Faiz Ahmed Faiz’s “Mujh Se Pehli Si Mohabbat Meri Mehboob Na Maang” into Hindi and English strive to capture the poem's essence while addressing syntax, metre, sound, grammar, and cultural connotations. The Hindi translation closely adheres to the original’s structure, benefiting from shared linguistic and cultural heritage, which allows for a faithful representation of syntax, sound, and cultural symbolism. For instance, phrases like “और भी दुख हैं ज़माने में मोहब्बत के सिवा” preserve the rhythm and emotional depth of the Urdu line. However, in longer lines such as “पीप बहती हुई, गलते हुए नासूरों से,” the metre becomes uneven, slightly disrupting the flow.
In contrast, the English translation prioritizes clarity and accessibility, often adapting syntax to suit English grammatical norms. While lines like “Do not ask of me, my love, the love I once gave you” effectively convey meaning, they lack the layered complexity and lyrical cadence of the original. Moreover, cultural connotations often lose their depth in English, as seen in “Silk, satin, and brocade” for “रेशम-ओ-अटलस-ओ-कमख़ाब,” where the regional opulence and emotional resonance are diminished.
Overall, the Hindi translation retains more of the original poem’s poetic elegance and cultural significance, while the English version makes sacrifices in rhyme, metre, and cultural richness to ensure readability for a global audience. Both could be further enhanced by balancing poetic aesthetics with linguistic accessibility and providing contextual footnotes where necessary.
Gemini:
English Translation
I thought you were the sun, life's radiant light,
Your sorrow, all the world's troubles, slight.
Your beauty gave the seasons permanence,
Beyond your eyes, the world had no essence.
To find you was to find fortune's grace,
I'd wished for nothing more, in any place.
Though life brings pain beyond love's bitter sting,
There's comfort far beyond the joy of clinging.
For countless centuries, a dark spell's cast,
On silk and satin, bodies are amassed.
Sold in the marketplace, from street to street,
Soiled and stained, beneath our very feet.
Emerging from the ovens of disease,
From festering sores, where poisons seize.
I look away, but still your beauty draws,
Yet what's the use, beneath such cruel laws?
Though life brings pain beyond love's bitter sting,
There's comfort far beyond the joy of clinging.
My love, don't ask me for that love of old,
Hindi Translation
मैंने समझा था कि तू है तो जीवन उज्ज्वल है तेरा दुःख है तो संसार का संघर्ष क्या है
तेरी छवि से है इस जग में बसंत को स्थिरता तेरी आँखों के सिवा दुनिया में क्या रखा है
तू मिल जाए तो नियति स्वर्ग बन जाए ऐसा नहीं मैंने माँगा था बस ऐसा हो जाए
और भी दुःख हैं इस संसार में प्रेम के अतिरिक्त सुख भी हैं और भी मिलन के सुख के अतिरिक्त
अनगिनत सदियों के अंधकारमय भयानक जादू रेशम व अटलस में बुनवाए हुए
हर जगह बिकते हुए गली-बाज़ार में शरीर धूल में लथड़ते हुए खून से सने हुए
शरीर निकले हुए रोगों के भट्टियों से पीप बहती हुई गलते हुए घावों से
दृष्टि हटाता हूँ परन्तु अब भी मन मोह लेता है तेरा रूप परन्तु अब क्या करूँ ऐसे कठोर नियमों में
और भी दुःख हैं इस संसार में प्रेम के अतिरिक्त सुख भी हैं और भी मिलन के सुख के अतिरिक्त
मेरी प्रियतम मुझसे पूर्ववत प्रेम की माँग न करें.
The Urdu poem is crafted with skillful sentence structures, creating a smooth and engaging flow for readers. It uses techniques like repetition and parallelism to emphasize its main ideas and enhance its rhythm. For example, lines like "اور بھی دکھ ہیں زمانے میں محبت کے سوا" (There are pains in life beyond love's sorrow) not only carry a deep message but also add a musical quality. The sound of the Urdu language, with its melodious vowels and complex consonants, contributes to the poem's musical feel. Techniques like assonance, consonance, and alliteration make the words sound pleasing and memorable. The consistent rhythm or meter of the poem further adds to its beauty, and translators into English and Hindi have tried, with mixed success, to maintain this rhythmic and rhyming quality.
The poem’s words are rich and expressive, blending both everyday language and literary elegance. It uses vivid imagery and metaphors to create lasting impressions, such as "تو ہے تو درخشاں ہے حیات" (You are the sun, life's radiant light), which compares someone to the bright and vital energy of the sun. The grammar of the poem is refined, highlighting the elegance of Urdu. It also uses symbolic elements to convey deeper meanings—such as silk and satin, which typically represent luxury but are used here to contrast with the harsh realities of life. These symbolic choices make the poem thought-provoking and emotionally impactful.
Lastly, the poem is deeply rooted in Urdu culture, reflecting the struggles and experiences of its time. The imagery of the marketplace and references to disease and exploitation resonate strongly with historical realities. Specific phrases and culturally significant expressions give the poem an authentic connection to its roots. While English and Hindi translations try to preserve these cultural elements, some subtleties may be lost. This rich blend of structure, sound, language, and cultural context makes the poem a masterpiece worth appreciating in any language.
Poem number 2 :
Poem number 3:
સમય જાતાં બધું સહેવા હૃદય ટેવાઇ જાયે છે
ગમે તેવું દુઃખી હો, પણ જીવન જીવાઇ જાયે છે.
હૃદયના દર્દની વાતો કદી છાની નથી રહેતી
હૃદય ગભરાય છે ત્યારે નયન ભીંજાઇ જાયે છે.
સમય બદલે તો બદલે, પણ પ્રણય રંગો નહીં બદલે
હૃદય રંગાઇ જાયે છે તો બસ રંગાઇ જાયે છે.
મુસીબતના દહાડા એ કસોટીના દહાડા છે.
છે પાણી કેટલું કોના મહીં જોવાઇ જાયે છે.
જીવન સારું જીગરની આહ થી ફૂંકી દઉં “ઘાયલ”
કદીક મારા ઉપર મને ય એવી ખાઇ જાયે છે.
ChatGpt :
दिल के दर्द की बातें कभी छुपाई नहीं जाती,
दिल घबराता है तो आँखें नम हो जाती।
समय बदले तो बदले, पर प्रेम के रंग नहीं बदलते,
दिल जब रंग जाता है, तो बस रंग ही जाता है।
मुसीबत के दिन वही कसौटी के दिन होते हैं,
किसमें कितना पानी है, देखा जाता है।
जीवन अच्छा अपने हौसले से जी डालूं “घायल,”
कभी-कभी मैं खुद पर ही हैरान हो जाता हूँ।
Analysis :
The Hindi rendition of the poem beautifully preserves its essence, maintaining the rhythm and rhyme that make the original so moving. Lines such as "समय बीतते सब सहने को दिल आदत कर लेता है" and "दिल के दर्द की बातें कभी छुपाई नहीं जाती" resonate deeply, carrying the same emotional weight as the Gujarati version. The language flows effortlessly, retaining the poetic charm while ensuring it feels natural and heartfelt. This delicate balance allows the poem’s message to shine in a new form without losing its original beauty.
What stands out is how faithfully the tone and emotional depth are conveyed. The themes of resilience, love, and life’s challenges are portrayed with equal power, as seen in lines like "दिल घबराता है तो आँखें नम हो जाती" and "दिल जब रंग जाता है, तो बस रंग ही जाता है". The rhythm enhances the reflective quality of the poem, making it easy to connect with its deeper meaning. This emotional sincerity ensures that the Hindi version touches hearts just as profoundly as the Gujarati original.
The poem’s simplicity and depth remain intact, making it both relatable and rich in expression. The imagery in lines like "मुसीबत के दिन वही कसौटी के दिन होते हैं" and "कभी-कभी मैं खुद पर ही हैरान हो जाता हूँ" paints vivid pictures that resonate with universal experiences. By thoughtfully adapting its essence, the poem bridges cultures and languages, allowing its themes to reach a wider audience without losing their authenticity. This adaptation is a testament to the timeless nature of its message and the power of heartfelt expression.
Gemini:
English Translation
With time, hearts grow accustomed to any pain,
Even deepest sorrow, life finds a way to sustain.
Heart's wounds are never truly hidden from sight,
When the heart trembles, eyes well up with fright.
Time may change, but love's hues won't alter or fade,
Once a heart is painted, its color will stay.
Days of hardship are days of trial and test,
Revealing one's true depth, put to the test.
"Ghayal," I'd breathe life into my heart's despair,
Sometimes, I'm so cruel to myself, I can't bear.
Hindi Translation
समय बीतने पर सब सह जाता है, दिल अभ्यस्त हो जाता है
चाहे कितना दुखी क्यों न हो, लेकिन जीवन जीता जाता है।
दिल के दर्द की बातें कभी छिपी नहीं रहतीं
दिल घबराता है तो नयन भींच जाते हैं।
समय बदल जाए तो बदल जाए, पर प्रेम के रंग नहीं बदलते
दिल रंग जाता है तो बस रंग जाता है।
मुसीबत के दिन कसौटी के दिन होते हैं
कितना पानी है किसमें, यह देख लिया जाता है।
जीवन को अच्छा बनाने के लिए दिल की आह भरता हूँ “घायल”
कभी-कभी मुझ पर मुझे ही ऐसा लगता है।
Analysis :
The Hindi rendition of the poem beautifully preserves its essence, maintaining the rhythm and rhyme that make the original so moving. Lines such as "समय बीतते सब सहने को दिल आदत कर लेता है" and "दिल के दर्द की बातें कभी छुपाई नहीं जाती" resonate deeply, carrying the same emotional weight as the Gujarati version. The language flows effortlessly, retaining the poetic charm while ensuring it feels natural and heartfelt. This delicate balance allows the poem’s message to shine in a new form without losing its original beauty.
What stands out is how faithfully the tone and emotional depth are conveyed. The themes of resilience, love, and life’s challenges are portrayed with equal power, as seen in lines like "दिल घबराता है तो आँखें नम हो जाती" and "दिल जब रंग जाता है, तो बस रंग ही जाता है". The rhythm enhances the reflective quality of the poem, making it easy to connect with its deeper meaning. This emotional sincerity ensures that the Hindi version touches hearts just as profoundly as the Gujarati original.
The poem’s simplicity and depth remain intact, making it both relatable and rich in expression. The imagery in lines like "मुसीबत के दिन वही कसौटी के दिन होते हैं" and "कभी-कभी मैं खुद पर ही हैरान हो जाता हूँ" paints vivid pictures that resonate with universal experiences. By thoughtfully adapting its essence, the poem bridges cultures and languages, allowing its themes to reach a wider audience without losing their authenticity. This adaptation is a testament to the timeless nature of its message and the power of heartfelt expression.
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